Wasty Presents: Dirty Deeds For Clean Gents

On The Way Home

Ted Keaton just left the last house on his round as a peddler and proceeded to go home. He had to walk along a barely lit alley. He thought of how much he had sold today. It wasn't much: Three toothbrushes, two combs, a towel, five soaps and ... suddenly three shady men with scarred faces jumped out of a doorway and pushed him into a dark side-alley. He was too surprised to resist. One of the three, obviously their leader, whispered: "Don't panic, dude, we don't want to hurt you if you obey. We just want that you assist us in a quick murder." Ted quivered noticeably. "Nn..ooo, I, I don't want to have anything to do with that! Let me go!", he stuttered and tried to run away. A switchblade popped up in the fading light. "You're not going to spoil this little fun for us. Else we'll cut you up". He pointed at the knife. "It's easy as pie. Besides, it's fun to drive a car. Do you understand? All you have to do is drive a car. We take care of the rest." He grinned. "Let's go now!"
Ted was pushed into a black Mercedes. They stopped in front of a large, white villa. Guns were pulled. Indifferent, Ted sat behind the wheel. "All set? Let's go!" "...".
Exhausted and confused he got home. That was quite interesting, he thought. "I'm sorry I'm late, honey, but business was good. I will be home late quite a bit in the future", he added.
The next day he met again with his new buddies. However, only two were present today. "Bob can't make it today. Can you replace him? You have to kill a dealer of the Mafia". "Well, OK. That shall also count as my initiation," Ted said cheerfully. Excited he held the knife in his hand. "Finally it is my turn to kill someone."
Everything went according to plan. Not even his wife suspected anything because Ted was in a very good mood.
It went on for several weeks. Slowly, Ted started to enjoy murder. He preferred killing with a knife, followed by strangling with his bare hands and third with a gun. He could tell from experience.
One time something went wrong. The police tracked them down. There was a shoot-out. They got away with one killed and one injured. At least three of them made it.
The valued reader can now surely fathom, using all of his or her fancy, how the three professional hitmen took revenge on the policemen, their wives and their children with great and bloody eagerness.


Copyright © 1979, Wasty, On The Way Home
German title: Auf dem Heimweg
41 lines
Reading time: approx. 3 1/2 minutes


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Last updated February 12, 2001 by Martin Mathis, e-mail lastbandit.com